In May, we moved our family of six out of our 1904 square foot house and full time into a 200 square foot travel trailer. (25 feet long by 8 feet wide, if you were wondering.) Our trailer isn't your traditional full-timing type of trailer, it's a toy hauler which tend to be on the spartan side, as they are usually meant more for weekend use than for long term living. We've set it up with extra toddler-sized bunk beds under the queen bunk to sleep all of six of us reasonably comfortably.
We've been living in this since May, and it had been a while since I had last been in a "real" sticks-and-bricks house. This last weekend, we were invited to Dallas's boss's house for a bar-b-que. They have a very nice house, probably at least 2000 square feet, tall ceilings, a pool in the backyard, fine furniture and all the nice electronics, cars and a motorcycle, too!
A couple months ago, whenever I went to house that was nicer than mine, I always felt so envious that I didn't have all those nice things. That somehow I was not measuring up to what I should have. I measured myself against what others had and always seemed to come up short. Admittedly, I had a very nice house, with lots of room and so many "toys", but when compared with what others seemed to have, I always felt lacking. But this weekend, for the first time that I remember, I didn't feel this jealousy, this envy, this sense of lacking something when I went to a nicer house. It made me realize that, for the first time in probably as long as I can remember, I am content.
Earlier that same day, Dallas and I had the chance to go on a date. One of the things that we did was go to an RV dealership and look at some larger trailers. There were some amazing trailers with price tags to match. Then there was one that really caught our eye, a 31 foot Coleman bumper pull trailer. It had three bunks in the back, an outside kitchen, and a queen bed in the front. It had a large slide and a U-shaped dinette that would actually fit us all. It was a 2011 and in nice condition. It was priced around $23,000, which we could definitely manage with a loan. Standing in the lot, Dallas and I were both very excited about this trailer. We started imagining what it would be like to have the extra space, and what we could trade in to lower the loan we would have to take out for it. But it never felt quite right. I wasn't excited enough about this trailer to really do more than dream a little, and I kept coming back to the "cons" from out "pros and cons list".
Not long after we moved to the base FamCamp, another family with young kids moved in two spots down. Koko and I became good friends and we ended up moving so we were right next to each other. A couple weeks ago, they traded in their very new Class-C motorhome for and amazing 37 ft long, quad bunk 5th-wheel with four slides. The thing is huge and nicely appointed. It has the outside kitchen and three tvs, two bathrooms and with the two slides in the kids (separate!!) bedroom, there is plenty of storage and still a lot of room for the kids to play. It doesn't even feel too crowded when my hoard descends, which is saying a lot!
Yesterday, as I was thinking about it, I realized I'm happy in my trailer. When I go to Koko's trailer, I admire it. When I go to other people's houses, I can see how nice they are. But I no longer feel lacking when I see it. I don't feel like that life is calling to me. I feel like I've been set free from the expectations I used to have for myself. Admittedly, in my trailer, I hate the kitchen, and the bathroom is tiny, and we are constantly being woken up by the kids. But, all in all, I like the way we are living. I know that eventually we are going to upgrade to a larger trailer or a bus conversion or something. And I love to dream about that time. But right now, I am happy with our tiny, utilitarian trailer, with the dirty carpet and the homemade bunk beds. As frustrated as I get having to climb over and around the kids to get through the "hallway", and as messy as everything gets simply because there is too much stuff in too little space, I feel freer than I can ever remember being. Free of the need to acquire more and better. Free from having to keep up with the "Jones's". I am free from envy... well, at least as far as houses are concerned ;)
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